Beauty of each relationship lies within us~

I am not a mind reader, as well as people around me. No one knows what we really do think, but why do we tend to get hurt? Yeah, the reason behind every hurt and pain is that we always keep things to ourselves. Lets say, your friends, lover or family hurt us, we dare not to tell it straight to their face how much of pain they have caused us. 

To be happy, talk to the person who have hurt you what you do really feel instead of keeping things in heart. Because at the end of the day, it will eventually affect your beautiful relationship with that person. 

Before its too late, express out what you really do feel, because once you lose them , those regrets will haunt you in future. Why do we regret when all we can do is to  let go of the ego within us, and express ourselves. When you really do express, the person really do know how important they are to you, and they will never try to make an exit out of your life. 

The most beautiful relationship is when others are keen to know what's going on between the two of us. So, treasure that relationship as you will never be able to find for the same exact relationship once its gone. Hold those who are important to you close to your heart, and tell them how lucky you are for being able to be a part of their life. No matter what happens, try your best to keep those bond always alive. Tell the truth and let them know how you feel, and you will know the value of each of your relationship because the BEAUTY OF EACH RELATIONSHIP LIES WITHIN US.

Wisely or Emotional

I was thinking back, how blissful it is to have good people around me especially on this examination period time. I have parents who went to temple just to pray for me so that I will pass this semester exam, friends who are willing to help me with studies, a friend who I can rely on at last minute, friends who pray for me that I will pass my exam, a sister who is worried for my results, friends who immediately text me right after my exam to ask me how is it, and a lot more.
If I screw up this semester , I am not sure what am I suppose to do. I have two thoughts on my mind, either to leave Utar or just to stay in Utar and carry on my degree. Because what I hate the most is to fail in something. I dont know whether Im thinking wisely or emotionally but this two decision is already fixed on my hand.
I just wouldn't want to disappoint myself, my parents, siblings and friends that I mentioned above because I feel like I always do disappoint people who are close with me. I pray the best for myself so that I will gain back the confidence.
I am leaving my faith on my results to make a choice. I am willing to accept whatever that I got, but now my aim is to work really hard on my tomorrows paper! All the best to all my friends for their exam!

Before the "Now" Begins

This week was the worse week that I ever had throughout my university life,
I can see the dissatisfaction of my best friend towards me, but I totally believe in my friendship with him.
I have the confidence that no matter what happens, we are not going to ruin our friendship..
Sometimes, the less I care is the better. I feel more worried when the other party does not really care anymore.
I know, in friendship, or any other kind of relationships, problem do occur. But what makes the bonding even more stronger is when you forgive the person in fault. When you really do forgive, I am very sure those who hurt you will never want to hurt you again. So , I believe you forgive but you never forget, but I will try my best to gain back your trust.
Now is an exam week, so I would not want to disturb you, and I need to focus on my finals as well. So whatever it takes, I will be aable to accept the fact and move on. Now since , I am not going to interfere in anything anymore, the less I will get hurt. So , I wish not to lose anyone in life becuse of my mistakes, and I want everyone around me to be happy!
This simple theory , which I found,

So I wish things are better now, so 

this is the final week. Lets focus on our finals ! All the best to all my friends on their finals. 

I have already deactivated my facebook account, so the less I know, the less I worry. =)

He is back

Okay, how should I start with?
This friend, considered a long lost friend, is back into my life, omgosh I can feel that Im so happy..
It actually happen because of an event since I wanted to quit the event, which cause a lot of problem to my best friend and him
So he called me to solve the problem, while we spoke about this, it suddenly brought us back to the past topic, and I was literally shocked that he really know my character so much. He knows me very well that he knew why I made this decision !
I thought he remembers nothing, and he was advising me not to trust anyone. The most highlighted point was when he told me, guys they really will like me because I can make them feel secure, reliable and comfortable to be with, Omgosh the moment he told me dis, I actually melted down. Whatever hard feelings I had towards him all abolished just like that.
I was laughing and smiling in the entire conversation, feeling like the same old person back, and it was wonderful. I know he was the person I really cared for more than anyone else before this, but I am just so excited now that my blood stream is rushing into my brain and making me awake!
I spoke to him about my life after he left, the reasons why I left my bestfriends behind and etc.. He is really a good listener indeed... I feel 200% happy when I spoke to him.
At one point when he called me I thought twice before answering the call but now, I really have no regrets. I didnt know it will bring us this far. Thanks thanks thanks for making me happy.. I had no energy for the past few days because of my best friend when we argued , but now after I spoke to him I feel energized. He revived me and Im glad for today for the miracle.
I love my best friend so much because he is the reason why we settled down today!! Its good that i get to tell him what I felt 2 years ago when he left and its awesome to know that he regretted~  =)

MUST GRADUATE

No matter what I must graduate, graduate and graduate and complete my studies by next year December.
At the age of 22 I gotta start working, earn and stand on my own feet.
So all I need to do is to work my ass off this semester, and dont screw any of the papers on this semester. Please God, be with me throughout this period. I am getting stress nowadays, and I want a peaceful mind to study. I am afraid, I will strain myself too much..
All I need to achieve is this thing here! I must GRADUATE , I must GRADUATE , and I really have to Graduate by next year December!

Great 5 people

---> Ju Xian
--->Chakry
--->Alex Cj
---> Mimi Koh
This four people, I thank you all for being one of those people in my life. I don't know how things may end up for all of us, but I sincerely thank you all for bringing a lot of fun into my life. I know clearly that the previous semester I didn't really meet with you people, but when I am with you guy I feel complete. You guys always bully me and I know because you do think I am one of you people. Thank you, for still putting hope on me, and not neglecting me, coz you bring out the best in me. :)
Ju Xian, 
This guy always hope, besides Hann You and Wei Quan, his name will be mentioned in my bestie list! LOL
Actually, he is very mean to me, always call me fat, dark and etc, but he will still come finding for me always, help me whenever I need help, and straight forward with me. He does show his anger to us but we know how to melt him down. He is one of my closest friend for sure because I always like playing with him and bullying him.
Chakry
This guy, always been there to protect me, understands me, treats me good and bad, trust me the most and my problem solver and listener. Thank you to him that he made me know MImi and Alex and eventhough for an entire semester I didn't really spend much time, but in every ups and down he still comes to me. I know when the entire world is against me, he will stand right beside me to to support me.
Alex,
 oh this person comes with such a different personality because we are those who think alike!basically we are some kinda person with great minds think alike. He was the first friend in UTAR to ever gave me an appreciation card with so much of grateful to our friendship. The person that I can share all my ideas with and he can actually improved it! Besides, he has a great leadership skills and I respect him the most.
Mimi
she is just the girl next door with simple mind, and doesn't think bad for others. she is nice in one word and doesn't complain over anything.
I always like when my friends come and find me always because they make feel that I am not forgotten. Thank You for always coming and finding me. I appreciate it with my full heart and soul.

First Card

This would be my first ever card that I had received from a friend of mine that shows me how much he appreciates me. I barely remember when was the last I did received an appreciation card from my friend. I felt very happy and overwhelmed when I got a card from him. I am very sure that I will keep the card until the rest of my life. Thanks Alex, it has been really long after I got a card from a friend. I knew how much you appreciate us and if you're trying,we are staying with you forever!

Alex Surprise!

I have plenty friends with me and they make me forget my world and stress. It was a great day with all of them because we celebrated Alex's bday. I knew it that Alex has no idea about it until I brought him outside the house and everyone threw the water balloon on him! LOL..it was nice to see his reaction!
Basically we gotta thank all our friends for making this plan a successful one. We prepared water balloon and water guns and the victim was the only chakry and me! WTH ! Everyone had to attack us all the time. Basically the water gun was the worst coz Juxian, Alex, Quarter and Chakry all attacked me and i looked as if like I just had my shower. Deep inside I appreciate their presence, because they made me forget my stress and I am happy when I am with them. Sometimes, we gotta really hold those who makes us happy close to us, and let go those who dont even care about. I thank God today for giving me such a wonderful friends with me. I hope I will be blessed with more good friends! =)

Lesson and Person for life

There was a group that I was close to before this, and now out of 8 people, the remainder is just 4 of them. They were new to the life over here. The life in Kampar starts with large number of friends. But as the time starts to pass by, you will realize who are the friends that will be with you until the end. I remember having a lot of friends back in foundation, yet I ended up not talking to some of them, a few of us became a hi-bye friends but just two remains closer to me. So , everything happens in a process, either that person will stay with you and become closer or the other possibilities are that they will just give you a lesson. Out of the two of them , one was a lesson for life and the other was a person for life.
A lesson for life was the one who made me realize that I cant put in effort onto him, because if I do I will hurt myself. The person who made me open my eyes widely that friends will hurt you and you have to grow stronger and be independent. You an never rely on anyone or else you will be left behind.
A person for life was the one who have so many friends with him but never forgets me. A person who is so important to me that I tried to let go but I cant. A person that I like to be with the most and feel comfortable and have some kind of natural bonding. An individual who think he have never done for me, but just I myself know how much he did for me. He is a childish yet mature, funny but irritating and most of all, the only person that can make me feel better when I am sad.
The two essential thing in life is what I have with me,all I want is never to lose them because until today there are still with me in my success and failure. They accepted me for who I am and I appreciate their presence in my life.

Too Many on My Mind

I have too many things on my mind to post about because many things happened recently.
1.I met my senior in Chemistry, Kevinder Singh(Chinese + Punjabi) guy who made me admire him a lot
2.my friends
3.discrimination of races in Msia...

I have to post all about this!

You're my last hope

Friendship, it hurts when you are not blessed with a true friend. It deeply hurts when your close friends starts neglecting you and it kills when the bonding between your best friends undergoes alteration. However, as time starts to pass by, you will start to realize who were your true friend in the first place. What matters here is that you need to wait as it happens in a process.

Let me make it simple, you can be sad for someone, but there is always a gift from God who will be always there for you in your ups and downs. One person whom you can think off when you're in your blues. A person who makes you feel that life has to go on and he will always listen to every stories you're about to say. A person who never gets bored of you although you can be bored of yourself. A person who you think you will lose someday but ended up being the last man to stand when you have no where to go. That person is your last hope and that is why you're my last hope.

I dont need to write about you on my blog, because you're the person who don't need that to prove that we are besties. Now I realize you were the only and only one because you're my last hope.

It was For Good

I gotta agree everything happens for a reason. And let me highlight the point that it happens for a GOOD reason.
When a person is hurt because of someone, let it be your family , friends , best friends or lover, it has some lesson behind it. Plenty of us tend to just get hurt and keep being emotional all the time, neglect the people around us when someone special hurts us. Some relationship were not meant to last forever, because it will teach us a good lesson. Recently i was encountering the same problem, and I was sad for few days until there was a point when it reached the final full stop. One of my cousin told me, "10 years from now, let me know if it was for bad or good change instead" and that is when I realized that it was definitely for GOOD. I am determined now, not to get hurt for others anymore, I can just let go of anyone, I will change myself from the worst to the best and I will put all the effort I have put in on my relationship to be diversed into my studies. I will never make anymore mistakes and allow others to even have a single point where they can complain about myself. The next time when you meet me, I've changed, to someone who is worth not to be lose. If I were about to be asked if it was for bad or good, it was for Good, I will answer that with no regrets. There is always a room for improvement. I've made up my mind and I will carry on with my life.
To those who did hurt me , thank you so much for making me to be a better person. It was for good that you hurt me so much that I can't even cry anymore.

It starts over again

For the past three months, I wasnt in Kampar. Considered I was travelling back everyday to Ipoh after my class. One of my friend was staying with for his internship period. Basically during the three months, he was apart of our family member.In fact my mom said he was her adopted son. LOL
We went a lot together as a family, where he knows every thing about my family now. After the three months, now we areback to Kampar. I realized that sometimes we dont have topics to talk about, and I felt that the bonding is n as strong as last time. Sometimes I wonder what happened. All I know is that I am still the same person like how I was before this. So, it is kind of new for me, but I totally knew people sometimes do change.

Since now we are in Kampar after three months, it feels like I am very new to Kampar. I often get homesick, feel like wanna go back to Ipoh as regular as I could. Classes started and here begins my dilemma. Everyone kept saying that the subjects for this semester are hard, so I started feeling the same. I am afraid to proceed for this semester and I amthinking should I just drop a few subjects for this semester. I am taking total of 5 subjects and all of it is all about advanced mathematics calculation. I am so blur now, did I choose the right course?

Due to the insecure feeling, I am having another dilemma. But I am unsure if I am doing the right thing but all I want is choose the best for me because the future depends on me myself. After CNY we will know how it goes. I just hope God lead to the right path. I want to succeed in life, not be a person who suffers. I believe in God that everything will be fine.